May 28th.

Eff it is hot as balls in this hotel room. It’s midnight. I am exhausted but this heat is like starring in a high school musical wearing a wool sweater. I am also a touch done with luxury. I can’t hang with these peeps. It’s ungrateful and I apologize to my karma but I’m not cut out for business. I think when it comes down to it I’m too simple for this sort of thing, and not in a good way probably. I just don’t get it. I don’t care. And I’m pretty sure something just darted behind my curtains. Like a creature of the dessert that probably came in during one of the many hours I’ve left my door open. I hope it stays on the floor while I sleep. If I sleep. This damn heat is over exuberant and a little too persistent. But, like I was saying about this convention. I really appreciate all the trouble that the company went through to put us up in this really nice hotel and to feed us way too many calories all day long. And to take us to the ballgame etc. But, by day two (today), I am toast. Like, I can’t talk shop this long, or really at all. I have the utmost respect for my company. I think it’s probably one of the best-run businesses that exists, anywhere. And I am grateful for my job, especially in this climate. Yet I’m still unexcited for anything beyond my day-to-day duties of unpacking boxes, putting shoes on the shelves, and then putting them on peoples’ feet. That’s the end of it for me. I don’t have a greater vision or greater intention beyond that. And, really, I’d rather be putting out fires and getting cats out of trees. Or, I thought on this trip, it might be fun to teach PE. Like, teachers are getting laid of left and right and I doubt that PE is a field that has many openings in the best of time seeing as how kids aren’t even required to do it half the time. So, that’s a pipe dream for sure. And I’d still WAY rather be a firefighter. But, I think PE teacher would be a second. How gay is that? I mean, right? I mean, why fight the stereotypes when they are so true. We definitely had that PE teacher in my high school. Also the basketball coach. And she was dating one of the science teachers. I think. But, it would be fun to teach kids how to play games all day long and maybe get the awkward girls to unfold their arms and maybe enjoy one game every once in a while and to get the awful mean boys to stop trying to throw baseballs with enough force to kill someone and have an ounce of team spirit. I think middle school would be the place for me. The center of hell. The worst time of everyone’s life. It could be a good time. Just sayin’. And summers off would be saweet. But, I still want to be a firefighter. I’m too stubborn and single-minded to get past that any time soon. June will definitely be a time for more tests and a lot of studying for them this time. I love studying in the summer. I love my short attention span and being inside while it’s 75 and sunny out and then saying I’ll just study outside and then throwing the ball for the dog and then maybe weeding and then cleaning the chicken coop and then maybe mowing and weed whacking and possibly going to the beach or getting drunk or both. But, seriously, this trip makes me realize how important it is to me to not be in this position in the very near future. And I can’t keep saying that the way I sometimes say a lot of things for a long time but don’t actually do them. Like clean the attic. Or fold my laundry. Or get a haircut. Or wash my truck. Or clip Suzy’s nails. Becoming a firefighter, or at least not continuing in a job that I’m unfulfilled in, is more important than any and all of those things. To the hundredth power. So, another night where I write about the same thing. But, like I said, I’m pretty single-minded. I’d say I have about six or seven rotating thoughts that are passing through my mind at any given point in the day. Sort of like an animal, but maybe they only have three or four? I hope. So, it’s either rugby, or outside, or dogs, or chores, or firefighting, or working out, or people. That’s pretty much it. Those are the things I think about. And thusly the things I write about. Pretty endless. Darn it. It happens.